Donations of money and supplies are pouring into Sichuan – or at least they’re intended for Sichuan – from all over China. Every school and business is collecting money from its personnel and donating it.
I was biking by the Old Boys Club yesterday, and without even saying hello Mr. Lù yelled out, “DàJiāng! how much money did you donate for the earthquake?” This caught me by surprise and I hesitated, which led him to exclaim something like, “I can’t believe he still can’t understand!” Mr. Sòng, who usually plays the Good Cop, asked if we’d given money.
“Of course,” I told him. “Our school and our company both are giving money.”
Mr. Lù wasn’t satisfied. “But you, how much money did you give?”
At this point I tried and failed to explain why North Americans don’t usually tell people how much we give, but I don’t have the vocabulary for that. Besides, Mr. Lù tuned out as soon as he saw I wasn’t going to tell him. Mr. Sòng understood that it’s not our culture in the West to say how much – “Oh, that’s very different!” – but that probably just means they think we’re all selfish, secretive, or whatever it is they suspect of people who aren’t open with such information. I wanted to say something like, “We don’t tell the whole world what we give because that seems selfish, like we’re only giving money to make ourselves look good to other people, plus we don’t care about getting ‘face,’ so we don’t need to tell everyone else how much money we give,” but that reflects more culture stress than it does a wise, culturally-informed response.
Afterward my teacher said there was nothing I could do in that situation. If I’d told them a big number they’d think I was just ridiculously rich: “He has so much money he can give so many dollars to people he doesn’t even have guānxì with!” (as in, people I don’t know and don’t care about). If I told them a small number, they’d criticize me for being cheap. If I refuse to tell them how much, they won’t understand and immediately assume I’ve got something to hide.
This little episode is just one of many things making me wonder if personal motives are automatically viewed with suspicion in Chinese culture.
John at Sinosplice also had some interesting donation experiences. At one company, they sent an e-mail around with a list of which employees contributed and how much. At another company, a foreign employee was criticized with “Who do you think you are?” for accidentally trying to donate more than everyone else. In the end she donated at the socially acceptable level.
Donations are public in China, and they impact face. At least, that’s what it looks like for now. If I ever figure all this stuff out, I’ll write books and make millions.
The photo is from a neighbourhood near our school, where they’ve posted a bunch of these yellow posters listing by name which residents gave money and how much. On the two posters pictured, everyone gave between 20 and 200元 ($2.85 and $28.50).
Canada:
China:
Taiwan:
The States:
Ecuador:
Brazil:
Haiti:
UK:
so what would have happened had you donated at the socially acceptable level?
i don’t know, because I assume a foreigner donating like a local would be taken differently in different situations, by different people. If these old guys are assuming foreigners are all loaded, then maybe they’d think I’m stingy (true) or don’t care much about the earthquake victims, but who knows. With the example of the employee who was criticized for trying to give ‘too much,’ she was a co-worker and her actions had implications regarding the ‘face’ of her boss and co-workers.
这些大爷们有问的自由 你也有不回答的权利~
对于那些张榜公布捐款排行的行为，我也觉得有点 接 受 不了，不过这确实是中国现在的“风俗”
我觉得住在中国的外国人平时应该“入乡随俗”，可 是因为我们还不太了解中国文化，也因为我们的汉语 不太好，所以有的时候不知道应该怎么做，而且我们 太累的时候更难理解文化的不同。
就算你汉语再好，和这些大爷也是解释不清楚的。就 是 我去和这些大爷说，他们也理解不了为什么捐款 做好事不能光明正大的公布出来。这就是文化的差异 。 我觉得也不是什么事情都要“入乡随俗”。差异不大 的， 能够接受的，可以“入乡随俗”；如果和自己的 习惯差别很大，甚至背道而驰，那完全没必要随这个 “俗”
thanks for clarifying. Sounds like a seriously sticky situation.
Name of your book: Face with Chinese Characteristics
I’m so jealous of the experience you two are having.
[...] Our first encounter with this quirky (to us) practice of very public charity was after the Sichuan earthquake, when neighbours asked me point-blank home much we’d donated. [...]