There is no language that means what it means independent of the context in which it is spoken or transmitted.

Ok, but…

In that sense, what has been said here about Chinese people (a nation of nearly 1.5bn people…) is surely true of everyone else too.

…but not to the same degree and in the same ways. And that significant, often unrealized difference is where a lot of miscommunication happens. Of course context and nonverbals play a role in most communication — Euro-American sarcasm routinely flies over the head of international students and immigrants, for example. But the degree of reliance on context and nonverbal communication varies drastically between the West and China (esp. the U.S. and China).

Traditional notions and value of “truth” vary greatly as well, and result in different socially acceptable/tolerated behaviour. See John’s complaint above (#18), or the latest post on “lying” in China, which unlike this one emphasizes outright deception rather than China’s high-context communication culture and relatively high reliance on nonverbals. There are also links and excepts from other posts (on other blogs) about this topic, which I found worthwhile: Lying, “Lying” and Mainland China

Consider the story that North American indigenous peoples referred to the American colonists as speaking ‘with forked tongue’: meaning that they said one thing and meant/did something else. Presumably the people in question may have thought they were simply telling the truth, but the context of communication meant that that wasn’t how it was received.

In Britain, if a boss says ‘wonderful! Now could you add the total receipts to the graph’ this could be high praise or bitter sarcasm: ‘foreigners’ have sometimes been caught out by this. In that sense, what has been said here about Chinese people (a nation of nearly 1.5bn people…) is surely true of everyone else too. What probably varies is the specifics of who will be trusted and in what settings.

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to read your reply sooner. I appreciate your acknowledging that there are a lot of indicators that Chinese society is generally a low-trust society.

I don’t think my impressions of the Chinese can be pinned to any conscious ethno-centrism, but I do believe that my own culture has inculcated a certain hierarchy of values that finds the behaviors and values of Chinese culture unacceptable. Certainly the Chinese disapprove of lying and deception–accusing enemies of being the most vicious lying thieves in history is par for the course and indicates disapproval. But, the prejudice against lying falls well below the value they attach to stability. But, never mind “lying”. Truth is not of great value in Chinese culture. The heroes of Western culture are constantly sacrificing themselves for “truth”, but Chinese heroes sacrifice themselves for sentiment and/or duty. There is no Achilles or Socrates or Jesus.

But, to get back to the point I was responding to originally, I think it can be dangerous to tell foreigners that their lack of cultural sensitivity is causing them to believe that their Chinese hosts are lying to them and that they should therefore be more patient and sensitive. I have seen a lot of arrogant, oblivious expats roll through here, and so there is some validity to that kind of advice, but for me, every time I ignored the alarm bells ringing in my head because of my awareness that I am a guest and a novice to the culture, I was setting myself up for a world of hurt. People will take advantage of that.

Expats should be patient and sensitive, but they should be cunning, too, if they want to survive. The other option is to be cheerfully oblivious. When you smile, the world smiles with you. But, depending on where you are, that smile might be a warning.

I don’t care what culture you’re from or what your communication style is: deception is deception. Failing to read non-verbal cues that most everyone else can be expected to understand, however, does not equal being deceived. I think both happen a whole lot in China; this article was only addressing the latter. Given the dynamics of culture stress, the average expat’s lack of cultural understanding and language skill, and the fact that without a loyal Chinese friend/spouse there’s not much they can do about getting deceived if a local really wants to deceive them, I think I aimed the emphasis of this article in the right direction.

That big China-friendly caveat out of the way — and I hesitate to admit this because it sets off all kinds of alarm bells from my training, which tells me to withhold judgment for much longer than our 2.5 years and that harshly negative judgments of one’s host culture are almost always highly coloured by lack of understanding and ethnocentrism (not to mention the personal issues of relationally dysfunctional expats!) — I totally feel where you’re coming from when you write that Chinese people seem to be exceptionally deceptive. There are a lot of cultural clues that seem to suggest that this is a low-trust society where deception is exceptionally rampant: the automatic suspiciousness and cynicism regarding others’ motives; the cold, callous, dehumanizing posture toward anyone who isn’t family or useful; face and form over truth and substance; the deep social scars left from communist social engineering disasters of the 50s and 60s and the Cultural Revolution; and (last but not least) critiques of traditional Chinese culture and society by the Chinese themselves (many of these things come out in our “Good Samaritan with Chinese characteristics” series).

Despite the ability to draw up a cultural equation that makes it look like the Chinese are the biggest liars on the planet, I just can’t buy that conclusion, even when I’m really annoyed and wanting to. Even if it were true, as a cultural outsider with piddling language skills I may never be in a position from which I could adequately make that judgment call. In the mean time, I want to try and be gracious with the people around me while not being blind to their behaviour (or blind to the cross-cultural stress factors skewing my perception).

Another confirmation is in the fact that the Chinese are so suspicious of each other. This is precisely what some of the great Chinese writers of the May 4th Movement described and decried in their own writings. One writer went so far as to call the Chinese “cannibals” (in the figurative sense). Just read “Ah Q” or “The Ugly Chinaman”.

I think you are doing foreigners a tremendous disservice by telling them that the failure is on their part. To get honesty from a particular Chinese person (in general), it takes years and years of hard work and boundless patience, and often it is limited to a burst of incoherent emotion.

I do not blame the Chinese per se. They place such a high premium on selflessness and devotion to family, friends, and others that they have no choice but to put up and maintain a “face” to everyone. When they openly indulge their individuality, it often comes out in childish and reckless ways. In general, they are so confused about what is their genuine self and what is their face that I frankly doubt they know when they are lying half the time, especially the girls.

As for what to do about it, don’t stay too long, or try to join in the dishonesty. You can avoid a lot of trouble in the short term, but in the end you always have to pay a price.

Thanks for reading; I hope it helps. In this post I mentioned non-verbal communication and “face” concerns as two factors that make it seem to Westerners that Chinese often lie. Those are two big ones, but there are others as well, especially when it concerns bosses/leaders, and the sharing of information. Chinese-style leadership and the relationship between boss and employee, both in practice and in its ideal, is quite different from Western style leadership. There are lots of reasons for this. Also, information often isn’t as freely shared here as we (Westerners) would like. There’re lots of reasons for this as well. I can’t go into them all here (maybe one day if I ever figure it all out!) but if you want an accessible, short intro to these issues, I’d recommend “The Chinese Have a Word For It” by Boyé Lafayette De Mente. It’s not perfect, but each chapter is only about two pages on a self-contained topic/aspect of Chinese culture. Several of them talk about how bosses treat their employees and how people handle information, and how these things conflict with typical Western expectations.

Maybe you can shed some light also on another pet frustration. People never seem to give us any information, or if they do, it will be a one-line email which leaves us guessing about its meaning. This happens both when we request information and when they are “volunteering information”. Any ideas of whether this is typical, and any ideas why?

I also agree that Western nations are often overly tolerant in certain areas, to their/our own cultural detriment.