Here’s a link (for everyone) to our recent experiences with all the xtra attention:

Foreign baby in China essentials: FRIENDLY STRANGER FINGER SHIELD

Some days I have *very* bad days because of #2, #3, #4 and #5, and I grumble about it a lot.

To add to #2, Chinese caregivers (strangers we meet in the playgrounds) have a tendancy to criticise their little ones and praise mine, in front of the little ones. I fear this will make friendships harder for the little ones, as there may be jealousy/resentment etc. (This is one reason I like the kindergarten — the little ones play together on their own without any adult baggage.)

I would also add that Joel, if you plan to do a lot of the baby duties (ie taking Lilia out for walks etc on your own), be prepared for even more attention. Very often I get strangers coming up to my daughter asking her where her mother is (Mama is at work). I feel I get even more of #3 and #4 because I am a man (many Chinese seemingly don’t trust that a man can look after children!).

In my experience, #6 is only partly true. Yes, one can buy a *lot* of baby things here, but it is often culturally very different. A number of (what I think of as) essential things we simply cannot get here in China and when we ask around the baby shops they have no interest in searching them out (so I stock up on them when we go home to New Zealand). Also, our locally-bought good-quality pushchair hasn’t nearly lasted the distance — local pushchairs are apparently built for Chinese families who don’t take their little ones out so often and so far!

Well, I could talk all day about my Daddy-in-China experiences! (This is my life now … though I am really supposed to be a full-time student, with Chinese language and PhD studies!)

I read their answers and could probably say almost the same things being here in Brazil. Generally, you have to remind yourself that it’s okay to be different and say thank you for their concern. After awhile, the people that know you see how you raise your baby and understand and stop telling you how to do it properly. Even sometimes they wonder why they do it the way they do. It’s funny but overall, the best thing about having a foreign baby is the amount of people that you meet that you probably wouldn’t have met in the first place. I wouldn’t trade it for the world…hope that the change goes well for you when you head back. I know Lilia will do great! It’s you that has to figure out how to be content with the way things are done or not done when it comes to having a foreign baby. So good luck with the transition and I hope that you meet so many more people because of your precious girl.